Naraku's marriage life
by dfxcm
Summary: Human Naraku married. Kagura is his sister. A little peek into the wonderfully human life that Naraku ended up having with his wife as a school teacher. InuYasha and Kagome make an appearance. NarakuXOC OCXNaraku
1. The Happy Couple

I have no idea what possessed me to make this little... tale, but anyone reads my other story **Music Equals Life**, I'm sorry, but my laptop has the chapter and I can't get on the internet with it at the moment. So sorry about that.

**Disclaimer: **The only person I own in this train wreck is Naraku's wife, a.k.a. Mrs. Naraku.

**Warning: **The following is rated T for domestic violence, physical abuse, and implied but censored cursing.

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**Setting:** It is the present. Somehow, Naraku ended up a full human and is married. Kagura magically ended up his sister. He works a regular 9am to 5pm job. His wife... a nightmare.

"Can't you prepare food correctly?!" she shouted at him before pushing him out of the way to prepare dinner. "What kind of a husband are you?!"

Naraku submissively sat down at the kitchen table and muttered, "You're the woman. **You **do the cooking."

"What was that _honey_?" His wife had a butcher knife in her hand and he knew that she was not afraid to use it.

He put an irritated look on his face and said loudly, "I told you already! I love you, damn it!"

Nothing in the entire world could make Naraku feel more like crying than his wife. No one in the entire world would've believed that there was ever a greater evil than Naraku.

Naraku was the vice-principal of a local high school. He lived hundreds of lifestyles so far, as a human he thought he ought to try this lifestyle as it seemed popular. After fighting InuYasha those how-many-hundreds of years ago and not coming to any result, he decided to take it out on these children who were about the same age. Not once did he think that he had to deal with him again.

One day, Naraku was just about to leave the school and go home to his loving wife, when one of the teachers, Kagura, stopped him and said, "Sir, Mr. and Mrs. Higurashi are here to complain about their son."

"Is this the one that was suspended for a week?"

"Yes."

He glanced at the clock. He had planned to leave a little early to go and buy groceries and make dinner himself as a surprise for his wife since she had gone on a trip to visit her parents and was arriving that day. He sighed and said, "Make it quick."

Kagura opened the door and let the parents into the teacher's room. The parents glanced at their door opener with shock before approaching the desk the vice-principal was sitting at.

"What can I help you..." Naraku's voice trailed off as he met the eyes of the parents. He tried to contain his anger as he saw the last person that he had ever expected to see.

'ZOMFG THIS IS THE LAST PERSON I NEED IN MY LIFE!! MY WIFE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT MATTERS!! MY ENTIRE LIFE IS IN HER HANDS!! I DON'T NEED TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE PLANNING TO KILL ME AGAIN!!'

Obviously living a human's life changed the way he would usually think or speak. Damn kids and their 'txting' and 'lol-ing'.

Naraku was even too shocked to speak so he just waited until either of the two in front of him did.

"Hey! Naraku long time no see!" a human InuYasha said happily as if they were dormitory buddies or something.

"Kagura, for my wife please buy a large bouquet of her favorite flowers and put it on the table at home."

"Yes, sir."

Kagome gasped. "My goodness, _you're _married?!"

Naraku sent her a glare and mumbled an angry, "Yes, I'm married. Can we please make this quick? My wife is coming back from a trip tonight."

"I'd like to know why our son was suspended," InuYasha said a little tensely.

"Our students only get in trouble for breaking the rules. Therefore, your son was breaking the rules," Naraku said before getting up quickly and heading for the door. "Thank you very much for your time. If you'll excuse me."

"Our son would never do such a thing as breaking the rules."

"That is just about as true as us not trying to kill each other how many years ago. I'm sorry, but I must get going."

In a hurry, Kagome and InuYasha were invited to have dinner at Naraku's place.

What happened:

"Tell us what kind of rule our son broke!" InuYasha insisted as he and Kagome ended up in a fast-walking chase.

"Just shut up!" Naraku shouted at him. Beads of sweat were rolling down his face as he thought what kinds of things his wife would do to him if he wasn't even home to greet her. "Just- Just... Just follow me and I'll explain everything later!!"

They followed him into a supermarket, where dinner was quickly purchased. Then, it was sprint home as Naraku desperately tried to beat the clock and get dinner prepared.

And that's how Naraku, his wife, InuYasha, and Kagome all ended up eating a quickly-prepared meal in Naraku's home.

"Darling, who are these people?" Naraku's wife asked sweetly as she scooped bowls of rice for everyone, while under the table she was stepping on his foot.

"These are..."

'Oh shit.'

"We're his childhood friends!" Kagome said.

"Way back from the sandbox days!" InuYasha blurted.

"Oh, I see," she said with a big fake smile. After they said their thanks for the meal, she said in between coughs, "Little tramp."

InuYasha and Kagome stared at her in shock as she seemingly kept to herself and ate her food. Naraku sent very exaggerated facial expressions. Never, in any of the times that they have encountered Naraku, was his face so animated.

After dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Naraku walked their guests to the door just like any happy couple would. Right when the door closed behind their honored guests, the REAL Mrs. Naraku came out.

"How DARE you?! You brought guests into our home without even informing me beforehand!" SLAP! Thud!Mrs. Naraku had hit her husband in the face and the shock from it made him fall.

The honored guests weren't even off the doormat yet, so nothing besides the door was really keeping them from hearing anything.

"And WHAT the -BEEP- are THESE THINGS?!" InuYasha and Kagome could hear loud and angry footsteps walk away and then come back. "THE MONEY COULD'VE BEEN USED TO SAVE UP FOR OUR HONEYMOON TO HAWAII!!"

CRASH! Mrs. Naraku had just thrown the flowers and the vase at the already hurt Naraku.

"I bet you banged that chick loads of times! You bastard!"

Before they heard anything they didn't want to- like gunshots, for example- InuYasha and Kagome decided that it was time to leave and they quickly made their way home to their family.

"I love you, you know!" Naraku cried into the night as his wife dragged him by the hair.

Needless to say, Naraku had a very sad life with no one but InuYasha and sometimes Kagura to go to when he was too scared to face his wife.

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So, how was it? I'm looking forward to feedback. Thank you for reading!


	2. Typical Wednesdays

Even though I thought this story was going to be just a one chapter deal, I got a review from **xxxCutePyroHyperxxx** who wanted me to write more, so here it is! I think I'll be writing more in general since my internet on my laptop finally works again!

**Disclaimer: **I only own Mrs. Naraku.

**Warning: **The following is rated T for domestic violence, physical abuse, and implied but censored cursing.

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Wednesday is Naraku and Mrs. Naraku's weekly appointment for marriage counseling. The only time in their entire marriage where Naraku seems like the criminal and when the real harbinger of pain and destruction lies through her teeth is when they go to marriage counseling.

After they first got married, Naraku thought his little "honey bun" had a little bit of a mood swing problem and wanted to work through it as a couple through marriage counseling. Mrs. Naraku hated her significant other for making them involve "complete -BEEP-ing nutballs" in their private lives and so decided to play the victim in their "physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually abusive" relationship.

A typical visit:  
"Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Naraku. Today is the anniversary of our fourteen years working together," the counselor said as the happy couple sat on the couch. "How have you been doing this past week?"

Immediately Mrs. Naraku started weeping. "He just doesn't get it! He doesn't understand how I feel when he shouts at me! I tell him how I feel and it's like he just doesn't listen. Then he starts throwing things and hitting me and I don't like him like that. He's scary and he's not the same man I married those fourteen years ago. I feel so alone!"

'Lying straight through her teeth. I wonder how long she thinks she can use that last line in these sessions.'

"Mr. Naraku, your wife is a very sensitive woman and she doesn't appreciate it when you yell at her," the counselor took Mrs. Naraku's hand. "This marriage is a two-person companionship between you and your wife for the rest of your lives. Now last week I thought you were doing a lot better. This is... This is really a big step back. I'm really disappointed in you, Mr. Naraku."

'That guy says that every other visit ever since we started. Get some new material.'

At a time like this, it would seem very obvious to admit what his wife has been doing to him, but at this point, no one would believe him and the first and last time that he tried that, his wife nearly sent him to the hospital. When he tried that, it was a only a short while after they started going to marriage counseling and Mrs. Naraku started becoming violent like the Incredible Hulk.

What happened after that first session and they returned home:  
Mrs. Naraku put her purse on their kitchen table and cleared her throat. "I can't believe you told that stupid lie about me in -BEEP-ing marriage counseling," she said.

Naraku wasn't sure where this conversation was going. "What lie? You're very abusive towards me."

"I am NOT," she said before advancing on her prey.

"Don't worry! It's something we can solve in marriage counseling." Naraku was walking backwards towards the wall and Mrs. Naraku grabbed for the closest weapon at her disposal, a fork.

"It's not something to work on because it's NOT a PROBLEM!" she said before jabbing the fork in his hand and tying his long hair around his ankles she could kick him in the face repeatedly. A fishbowl, some wrenches, and a fan were thrown into the mix at some point and impaired Naraku for two weeks from going to work and marriage counseling. His excuse was "a romantic getaway". Naraku was borderline dead and pleaded to go to the hospital, which the Mrs. had given a little thought to just so she could "getaway" from him, but then the medical bills screamed at her and she let him suffer at home.

For about fourteen years now, Naraku just BS-ed his way through the sessions. His wife would never let him live without being treated like crap by someone who doesn't even know the truth. The more he was hated, the more she felt like her reason for being alive was fulfilled.

And after every session, Naraku would call up someone he knew and go drinking. His reasoning to do so was that since he's going to get beat up horribly after every session, might as well numb the pain a little.

So after one session, Naraku called up Kagura and InuYasha and invited them to some drinks.

A typical time at a bar with the three of them:

"Every week, she lies, cries, and I dies *hiccup* a little inside," he said as he downed the last of his beer. His sister put a hand on his back.

"Oh god he's drunk already," she said.

InuYasha shrugged as he sipped his beer. "If he didn't marry her in the first place then he wouldn't be beaten up every single day and night."

Kagura shot him a look and said, "Obviously she wasn't abusive before they got married. Even Naraku knows what kinds of relationships to avoid."

"Speaking of relationships, how's your marriage?" he asked. "Planning on talking to each other yet?"

PANG!

A surge of terrible emotional pain hit Kagura in the heart.

Kagura was married to Sesshoumaru, and their marriage- no, their relationship as people in general- lacked in so many ways. It was chillier than ice. They barely had any time with their only child, Rin, who was a real daddy's girl, and the person they all talked to the most was Jaken, their housemaid. Most of their passive aggression was redirected towards the housemaid.

So after they've had enough to drink, Naraku and Kagura were drunken sobbing over their emotionally draining marriages, while InuYasha felt very fortunate that he married Kagome.

Then after happy hour's over and Naraku's safely escorted home, he's always met by various things thrown at his head and provocative language screamed in his face. Of course every time, he's still extremely hammered when he gets home, so he feels and hears nothing. Naraku also remembers nothing that happens to him after happy hour, but he always wakes up to finding amazingly gigantic bruises and cuts all over him when he wakes up sore.

Every Wednesday was not only Mr. and Mrs. Naraku's day for marriage counseling, but it was also the time when Naraku, his sister, and even InuYasha to come together and spend some time talking about their marriages. One marriage is an underwater-007-mission-impossible train wreck that is beyond salvaging. Another marriage is working, but just barely awkward between the married couple. And the last one is completely happy and wonderful.

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I hope you enjoyed!


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